ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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