just come out here and I will go home with you...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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