Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
