I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
