worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
