I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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