What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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