The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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