Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
