There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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