He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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