i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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