i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
