I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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