Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
