I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
