I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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