we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
