Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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