Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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