Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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