I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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