I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
