Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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