is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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