She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
