reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
