Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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