i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
