The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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