you win again, gameday.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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