I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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