I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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