my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
