oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize