Your face is a jimmy john
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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