She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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