Sry I called you an 8
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
