clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
