pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
