Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
