Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
