Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
