We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
