i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
