Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
