I must be too annoying 4 u.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
