Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
