There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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