do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
