is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
